I'm in a slightly odd head space lately, where it feels as if I'm not entirely sure where I'm headed, so I try to go in all directions at once. Result? I get nowhere. The best way to get out of it is to work out - usually I'd go for a long run in the trails, but it's still too icy and knowing my luck, I'd slip and break the other arm too.

When I was younger, working out was as natural as breathing. Not going to soccer practice, not running during the off season, not constantly trying to get better and faster and stronger wasn't an option. It was less of a conscious decision and more like breathing or eating - I needed it daily. Then the late teenage years happened, I started making proper friends (very late bloomer in the socially acceptable, don't ask), going to parties, travel - also realizing that I would never make it to the Swedish national team, never play the world cup - and my motivation fizzled and died. When at the age of 21 I came back to Sweden after almost a year and a half on the road, I found myself in the worst physical shape of my life. I could hardly run 5k without gasping for air and having to stop and walk. I didn't recognize myself, and felt the challenge to get back to my old form was too great. I was baffled with how hard certain workouts were, that they didn't come to me naturally anymore. I couldn't seem to find any sort of motivation what so ever. I had no idea what to aim for ("bikini season" never quite did it for me).

One of my best friends inadvertently gave me the push I needed;

"If we're this stiff and sore in our twenties, imagine how horrible we'll feel when we're in our fifties?"

It lit the proverbial fire under my ass - and even if I'll never get back to my pretty damn excellent soccer form, at least the aches and pains and stiffness are slowly getting lesser, breathing comes easier and my shoulder hardly hurts anymore (but damn, is it ever weak).

naturalSince I tend to leave my phone at home when working out - limiting my ability to snap shameless workout selfies (I need to get my priorities straight here), here's a bonus picture of me, my abs and some concrete.